all about me...

So much as been going on since I last blogged.....SO much.  Some of which will go here... a lot won't, because I don't trust people.  I am having a very hard time trusting just about anybody anymore sadly.  I'm shocked I have any back left it's had so many knifes it it over the last few months.  Let's see I still hate hampton rds with a passion.  I mean I like some things about it, but over all ...yeah.  Of course I LOVE Va...it's home, but sooo different back home.  Diem is growing like a weed.  She is literally the height of a 5y/o and she will just be 4 come two weeks.  Prob getting her a bb gun for her birthday, she is country by birth!!  She is very loving and sweet though, has her moments but over all couldn't ask for a better daughter.  Hopefully one day she will have the brother or sister she keeps asking for.  


I miss working with a passion, BUT I always said I'm going to have kids I'm going to raise them if at all possible, so here we are.  Hope to be going on vacation soon....God knows I need one before I loose my mid completely...lol.  Because I have realized how very lonely it is and how very much I LOATH being ignored!!!!  Just in general, I feel like I always give people 100% of me and I get back whatever they have left over in return......


As you know I have my page Sexually Deprived....it's awesome I think.  But O.M.G there are some caddy bitches on there sometimes!!!  I'm like really?!?!!  Let's try to be a little LESS supportive or a little MORE of a bitch please!!  I mean damn I know I can be a bitch but being a Cu%t is a bit out of line!  But even still I love the page and the people on it.  Anyways I will add more soon...<3

I'm alive....

Not that anybody has checked my blog in all this time...lol.  But lets see since my last post quite a few things have happened.  I have been in the E.R twice, become a "single" parent, started packing, lost about 15lbs, discovered some people are really all talk, and then some.  I didn't want to blog since the deployment until I could come back a happy perky blah blah me, but well I still wouldn't be back.  I'm still sick and they still have no clue what is wrong.  I'm weak every day and dizzy, it's hard to keep up with Diem and be the Mom that I know I should be.  I feel like I am failing her and everything that I should be doing.  I don't like asking for help, so I try not to.  People ask how I am I try to just say "fine", one because do they really care how I am?  Prob not....and two if I were to tell them would they really listen?...prob not.  They would just assume that I'm sick because I miss Josh or some b.s, because God forbid a military wife be sick because she is really sick right?  I don't like being sick.  I like being the strong one, the one that everybody else can depend on.  Except for nobody ever needs me anymore.  Nobody calls me crying, asking for advice, or anything else, it's always me, and I don't like it. 
So here is my question/thought for the day..why do people befriend you on facebook to not say anything to you?  I mean like request that you become their friend then never comment on your status pics or anything for like weeks, months?  Whats the point?  I have had like three people do this in the last month!  Just wondering.  One of those pet peeve things I reckon you know? lol.

It's been awhile.....soooo GIVEAWAY TIME!!!

Missie over at Babythigs.dk has the most awesome store, and has been kind enough to send me a couple of things for giveaway/review.  SO...if you have a little one or will soon and would like win a Hold Me Hand Woven Baby Sling and  write me a small review once you use it, (no pic necessary, but would be awesome).  I'm asking that you do a couple of things (well just one, but a couple if you want more then one entry...lol).  Leave a comment below letting me know either how old your l.o is or how long before you will be using it.  If you are a PL please leave your PR name, if not then please leave me a way to contact you if I don't obviously know who you are.
For additional entries:
Visit Babythings.dk Facebook page and become a fan.  Once you have done so come back and let me know.
Entry #3-Become a follower of Babythings.dk's blog.  As above, once you have done this come back and let me know.
If you already are a follower/fan just leave additional comments letting me know! Thanks!
OH!  And the color of the sling is Natural!  I will ask that if the winner is from outside of the U.S they help cover shipping charges please, but everybody is welcome to enter!   The winner will be chosen via random.org!  Thanks!

Last night.......and my mini wish list

Was fun to say the least?  It all started the night before with stomach pains that just wouldn't quit, but I blew them off...what the heck I  don't have time for this I'm thinking.  Josh is leaving, suck it up.  So I take some of my migraine pills thinking they will find the pain..haha.  And try to sleep.  Yesterday I wake up not feeling well, but eh whatever...we get our pics done by wondermus Cindi over at City Park and come home.  But about 15min after dinner the pains are back BIG TIME.  So I tell Josh I can't take it I'm going over to the Hosp.  I have to admit I was impressed I was taken back in about 30min or so.  After a TON of test and what not, we discover I have a bleeding ulcer, my gallbladder prob has to go, and my hernia has prob poked its way through it's repair at some point.  Wonderful!  So I'm given meds because I can't keep much down or stand up straight at this point, and told to rest!! REST???!!!???  My husband is leaving any day, and I have to pack and move with a 2 year old!! LMAO but ok yeah I'll rest and take care of those problems right away to!  Haha NOT!  So lets just pray the medicine gods shine down on me for several months and work their magic, so that I will have some constant help w/ speed demon if/when they have to do anything.  And who knows maybe the problems will magically fix themselves!
Another thing I did while I was at the e.r was think a bit and I have decided that I REALLY REALLY want Diem to have a Waldorf inspired doll...but oh ny gosh they cost so much!!  However you pay for good quality right?  And for me I have discovered I NEED a black/bub be smart.  So anyways thats that.  Have a good one!

Pardon the dust....

But hopefully everybody will love the new blog and appreciate all of the hard work that Kim is putting into it!  I know I do!!  So please keep reading and checking back, the best is yet to come!  I realize my post have slowed down for a bit, but things have been pretty busy around here (not that anybody has really noticed).  Anyways they will pick back up here soon.  For the couple of ya'll that check in here and there thank you!!  I plan on trying to get a few more product reviews and what not also in the up coming months so stay tuned!

Runnin'

So if ya'll don't hear from me for a few days then you know something happened to me...lol.  I have decided to become serious about this whole running thing.  What I am thinking I don't know....just like some people shouldn't wear certain things, some people shouldn't run....yet I am going to try to.  I need to be pretty for a magnitude of reasons, so therefor off I go.  Please pray that I don't cause an earthquake or need 911 called...lol. 

The mall

All I have to say is if Josh was not deploying I would have turned around when we pulled in the parking lot!!  That mall was nuts, I mean really its the day before a Hallmark holiday people not Christmas!  Yet another reason I don't like Lynnhaven mall and stick to Cheaspeake Square!  But alas there is no Build a Bear over here.  So we go in the mall and go to the Disney store first because they are having a pretty good sale on plush toys.  Diem picks a Goofy and a Donald Duck, not what I thought she would pick but ok.  THEN there was the line...OMG the line was half way around the store, well needless to say Diem had a mini melt down while waiting in that! Lol  Then next door to Build a Bear...WTH?!?!?!!  The line was THREE stores down!!  I swear if Josh was not leaving we would have left and  come back a different day, but well we couldn't so we wait and wait some more.  I did discover while I was in line that Tricia and some of her family were in the mall, and btw DANNY I'm holding ya'll to what you said!!! LMAO  Anyways, we FINALLY get Diems Frog done.  Yes she picked it, I held up a dog and the frog and she snatched the frog from my hand, Josh recorded a message to her that is in it's foot.  He has on a soccer outfit, we were going to put in a hockey one but it was UGLY! lol  Anyways that was our boring yet long day!

Help??

So in less time then I would like I am going to be a single parent.  I just really think I am going to find out who my FRIENDS are and who my friends are in the first few weeks that Josh is gone.  There is A LOT that has to be done in a VERY short period of time, and I am really going to need the help of a few of my friends.  But you know how it goes, everybody always talks at practice but when game day rolls around nobody is ready to get in the game.  Yeah that was bad, but  ya'll know what I'm trying to say right? Lol  I HATE depending on people because I always get let down, just a fact.   I have to figure out a way to entertain Diem while the Verizon man is at the other house for 5hrs during her nap time, with nothing to do, paint, pack, paint more, oh and did I mention I'm not supposed to lift anything to heavy?  Oh and that my dad has a broken ankle?  I have NO CLUE how I'm going to do it  but oh well I will, and I prob won't ask for help.  Why?  because I don't want somebody to tell me they will help me just to let me down....I can't take much more of that right now.  And this is in no way ment to be an insult to my friends.  I realize they have lives yadda yadda I however am just speaking how I feel in my heart.  It is 0315 and that's what I do..lol  Love to you all

Bucket

Sometimes I wish there was a bucket next to me at all times.  And I could stick my head in the bucket and automatically be in my "happy place", except for sadly I have no idea where that is.  I can't say it's with my husband because he just rolls his eyes when he has to talk to me for more then 10 consecutive minutes and acts like its the worse thing on the planet. He acts like he can't wait until he is out of here!  Like they can't get him a plane ticket fast enough half of the time so yeah no happy place there..  I would say it's with Diem but lets face it while she makes me extremely happy overall, what do you really think a toddler can do?  Then we have my friends...umm yeah A.) They are either married to men that love them dearly and I just want to cry because I would kill for my husband to show me the TLC theirs do.  Of course if you were to ask him, he is Romeo and he does...lol.  or B) They are strong women that have it all together and well ....I'm me, and I wouldn't wish being me on my worst enemy. 
All I want is to FEEL loved, wanted, special, needed, by somebody that isn't still in diapers, but whatever these things will never happen.  I really think its because the attention is being given someplace else so my time is just what is left over.  Maybe they want me to take mine elsewhere to?  That way he won't have to care at all, not even a little bit?  I don't have to be/want to be wined and dined....I just want to be cared about....and SHOWED it.   I'm so beyond torn because I don't want my husband to go but at the same time I'm almost like ..why not, will he even really notice? 
Then we have the PR, how can so many women lead these picture perfect lives?  I just don't get it I guess.
I'm just so sick of being wrong, I would love for somebody..ie Josh mostly, to say: " You know what honey you have a point, and I do need to do better, I'm sorry and I will try".  And really MEAN it for once.
Oh well I guess over the next however long I will just lead my hobbit type existence...or as close to it as possible.  So bring on the bucket....

Lets go Saints!!!

Nuff Said!!!  Be back later!  Oh and of course can't wait to see the commercials! LOL
WHO DAT!!!!!!  Way to make history baby!!  

Guns and Hoses

So we took Diem to the hockey game tonight.  Didn't think we were going to go at first thanks to Josh's friend waiting until the last minute to tell him he didn't want to go to the second game with him.  Why do people do that?  Wait until the last poss second to give an answer?  So that put Josh in a pissy mood and he didn't want to go at all, and then of course we got into a fight because thanks to his friend our day (which we were FINALLY having a good one of) was just going down the drain.  So anyways I FINALLY got him to agree to go, two cars, pouting, and half assed getting along later, we were at the game.
 Anyways once we got there things got better.  Hoses one of course!!!!  Yay!!  Even though I love my guns to!! LOL  When we got there Diem expressed how much she LOVED the ice and how pretty it was...lol.  Hopefully we can take her ice skating sometime soon, since she won't be able to start her lessons for a couple of more months.  But I'm really excited to get her out on the ice and see how she does.  She really enjoys roller skating so I reckon we shall see.